Create space to think.
OVERVIEW
How can you control your emotions? Instead of allowing feelings to dictate our behavior, you can work on building personal strategies to gain a greater degree of balance.
Concentrating on your breathing is an excellent way of learning how to become more present and a very important factor in building emotional regulation.
Even if your emotions are high, by concentrating on and then controlling your breath, you can encourage the brain to reduce its threat response. This can make you more physically comfortable and bring about a relaxed mood – a state in which you can make clearer decisions and perform at your best.
THE DETAILS
When emotions are running high, it is natural for a person to take faster and more shallow breaths. The brain sometimes associates this with danger and automatically stimulates other systems to face a threat.
The opposite is also true: when you are calm, your breathing tends to be slower and deeper, your heart-rate reduces, your muscles relax and you feel safe.
When you’re agitated, your mind becomes super-focused on its immediate surroundings; ready to react quickly to any danger. Whereas when calm, your mind feels free to be more open, expansive and is more able to consider the consequences of actions. This is why people who are emotionally charged often make rash decisions or say things that they later regret, and this happens less when we are calm.
You may wish to review the Emotional Regulation Model to remind yourself how stimulating a sense of calm can create balance against our threat and drive systems. You may also wish to review the Cognitive Behaviour Model to read about why proactively affecting our physical self (in this case our breath) will influence how we think, feel and perform.
Breathing exercises can be used in conjunction with pretty much all the tools and techniques in the toolkit. So, it’s really worthwhile practicing this technique and incorporating it into your daily routine.
Exercise
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CHECK: Check in with yourself. How are you feeling right now?
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CHALLENGE: Would a greater degree of calm be more helpful for your current situation?
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CHANGE: Stop and sit comfortably with both feet on the floor, sit right back in your chair and make sure your back is straight in order to really open up your chest and make best use of your lungs. Now follow these steps:
Take one deep breath through your nose and hold it for just a second before releasing and fully exhaling through your mouth.
One more deep breath, just as before.
Now find a slow and comfortable pace of breathing that feels right for you.
Concentrate on your breathing, notice how it feels and pay most attention to your out breath.
Can you extend your out breath? Make it slightly longer than your in breath?
Perhaps you'll notice that it is becoming easier to maintain a slow rhythm.
Perhaps you'll notice some tension dropping away from your shoulders.
Perhaps you'll notice the weight of your body in the chair as the body relaxes.
Continue like this for another minute and then notice how you are feeling. Do you feel relaxed? Does your head feel clear? Are you ready to move on to the next challenge?
LISTEN TO THE TOOL