Boost your confidence.
OVERVIEW
We will all experience times in our lives when things don’t go our way. Some people think that if you are compassionate, you might allow standards to slip…you might make excuses for poor outcomes and therefore it could be counter-intuitive to perceive self compassion as a technique to improve performance.
But self-compassion is crucial for high performers.
Self-compassion requires us to direct our attention in a kind and helpful way. Instead of judging ourselves critically and using negative words and phrases to describe our performance, it’s far better to seek out and reinforce the actions of which we are proud and note the lessons we have learnt from a situation.
It is actually more difficult to demonstrate self-compassion than it is to be harsh on ourselves. So when we display a tolerant and non-judgemental attitude towards ourselves…we should be applauding ourselves for conducting a tricky work out and building our mental fitness!
THE WHY
As the Cognitive Behaviour Model shows us, our thoughts, feelings, behaviours and our physical self all influence each other. Therefore, negative thoughts and feelings can create a negative performance and vice versa – a kind of ‘self-fulfilling prophecy’.
Self compassion helps you achieve a more positive mood, greater optimism and lower levels of anxiety; a foundation upon which we can build our mental fitness and therefore improve our chances of success in the future.
Like many of the Peak State tools, Self Compassion works well in conjunction with other techniques. Why not check out Positive Self Talk or Strengths Identification.
Exercise
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CHECK: Check in with yourself. How are you feeling?
What thoughts are you having about a recent experience that hasn’t resulted in success?
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CHALLENGE: Are your thoughts and feelings positive? Will they help you to achieve success in your next challenge? Are you being fair to yourself? Are you being kind to yourself?
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CHANGE:Imagine your friend has been through the same experience and has called you up for advice. What would you say to them? How would you motivate and encourage them to learn from the experience and move on?
Consider the words and phrases you would use to help your friend and use those very same words for yourself.
LISTEN TO THE TOOL